Jump to content

The Protestant Community

Christian and Theologically Protestant? Or, sincerely inquiring about the Protestant faith? Welcome to Christforums the Christian Protestant community. You'll first need to register in order to join our community. Create or respond to threads on your favorite topics and subjects. Registration takes less than a minute, it's simple, fast, and free! Enjoy the fellowship! God bless, Christforums' Staff
Register now

Fenced Community

Christforums is a Protestant Christian forum, open to Bible-believing Christians such as Presbyterians, Lutherans, Reformed, Baptists, Church of Christ members, Pentecostals, Anglicans. Methodists, Charismatics, or any other conservative, Nicene- derived Christian Church. We do not solicit cultists of any kind, including Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Eastern Lightning, Falun Gong, Unification Church, Aum Shinrikyo, Christian Scientists or any other non-Nicene, non-Biblical heresy.
Register now

Christian Fellowship

John Calvin puts forward a very simple reason why love is the greatest gift: “Because faith and hope are our own: love is diffused among others.” In other words, faith and hope benefit the possessor, but love always benefits another. In John 13:34–35 Jesus says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Love always requires an “other” as an object; love cannot remain within itself, and that is part of what makes love the greatest gift.
theophilus

Ten things you never hear in church

Recommended Posts

1. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew!

 

2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes overtime.

 

3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

 

4. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I've been sending to TV evangelists.

 

5. I'll volunteer to be the permanent teacher of the Junior High Sunday School class.

 

6. Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do!

 

7. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before.

 

8. Since we're all here let's start the service early!

 

9. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

 

10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment to the Lord like our annual stewardship campaign.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post

Here is one no one has ever, ever heard. We don't need an offering today. or The baptistery has been used so much its worn out, we need a new one. or The front pew cushions need to be replaced because so many people fighting to sit there they are worn out. or We have so many people wanting to go visit the visitors, but not enough cars to take them. or Wednesday night prayer meeting has so many people wanting to pray we don't get out until 1 AM or The offering was so large it took two hours to count it by four people. or We are now going to start a third morning service. Finally we have so many people wanting to help in VBS we had to have a second one.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Many of those things are happening in Asian churches--but I don't know anyone being sent to the Bahamas.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Many of those things are happening in Asian churches

I look forward to the day when Asian churches and the global south are sending lots of missionaries to the U.S. We need them and it would complete the circle.

 

BTW, welcome @GaoLu!

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

The U.S. has been becoming more and more a very culturally diverse nation. It's becoming more and more difficult to go to those various countries As missionaries -- so the 'mission field' has been coming to Us,

 

There's a Korean service on TV on Sunday mornings. A Lot of outreach in this country.

 

A person doesn't need to become involved in official home missions to Be a home missionary.

 

Are we possibly becoming too content in our neighborhoods -- we don't want to rock a 'social' boat? I remember Years ago - husband was in local Bible college and we were getting to know another young couple with a baby. The mom wanted to get a VBS started in their neighborhood but was running into reluctance in their neighborhood. I was 'suggesting' that Maybe she could go to get to know their neighbors better and find out if there was a particular reason For their reluctance. She was a little leary of doing that -- she said they Live in this neighborhood and don't want to cause a Problem. And That was 40-some years ago.

 

I Do like that list of 10 things you never hear in churches.

 

One pastor was suggesting in a conversation before church started that Maybe they should install a conveyor belt for the rows of church pews. People usually sit in the last rows -- so as each 'last row' was filled - that row would automatically move forward.

 

And in one church we were in for a while -- as the pastor started the service , he noticed that the entire front 10 rows or so were empty -- the middle section and end were full. So - he asked for volunteers to please relocate closer to the front of the auditorium - so that he could be preaching to a more 'local' congregation. A bunch of them did.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
5 hours ago, HelpIWasAFish said:

One thing I have never heard in church..... An organ played reasonably well. 

The church I attend doesn't even have an organ.  We have a band consisting of keyboards, guitars, and drums.  The church has a piano but I don't remember it ever being used for regular services.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Similar Topics

    • When Church Planting Harms the City

      The world is urbanizing. Cities are growing at astonishing rates—some estimates claim that by 2050, as much as 70 percent of the world’s population will be in urban centers. We need churches in cities worldwide, and church planting is needed to keep pace with this move. Heady numbers and figures are often thrown around. But there’s a darker side sometimes hidden within this narrative. As people move into cities, housing prices increase, and long-term residents can be pushed out, whether through formal means or by natural consequence. Half a century ago, a British sociologist recognized this happening in London, and she coined the term “gentrification.” Since that time, the modern phenomenon of gentrification has divided opinion. Is it good? Bad? Like much else, it’s not that simple. Urban revitalization and gentrification are more complicated stories than simple statistics can tell. Importance of Place Place matters. The Bible’s narrative emphasizes this from beginning (the world God created and the garden he planted; Gen. 1–2) to end (the renewed and restored creation and heavenly city; Rev. 21–22). Therefore, humanity’s longing for home—for a place of rest—is woven into our DNA. All of us trace our stories, insofar as we can, back to places. Regions and cities are proud of their music, food, and cultural/historical distinctions. Our city—Washington D.C.—is no different. It wasn’t until I (Shaun) left the D.C. area that I realized not everyone knew Go-go music or the glories of mumbo sauce. And it wasn’t until I moved back that I learned about the history of migration and flight that lead to D.C. being a disproportionately poor, and predominately black, city. These realities shape not only the city but also its residents—particularly D.C. natives. Loss of Place This is where urbanization and gentrification become a justice issue. As the affluent move in—and newer, more expensive housing follows—poorer, under-resourced residents are displaced. Underprivileged residents can no longer afford to live in their home and place—sometimes the place their family has called “home” for generations. For this reason, University of Edinburgh urban geographer Tom Slater called gentrification “the spatial expression of economic inequality.” At best, in other words, gentrification disregards the poor. At worst, it intentionally disenfranchises and displaces them. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, how we talk about and engage in urban church planting can directly contribute to the injustices of gentrification. When we speak of “transforming the city” while building churches that cater specifically to incoming residents, we are little different from the overpriced organic food mart or coffee shop. When we bring in large teams to start new churches, we can contribute to increased property taxes and living costs, creating extra burdens for the city’s poor. When we act as though we are finally bringing the gospel to our cities, we often dishonor the work God has been doing through existing churches, and we belittle Christians who have been laboring in them. In short, we compound the problem. Though our churches cannot change the reality of gentrification, we can lead toward a more theologically sound and just approach to engaging cities. Here are five things we’ve learned as we’ve sought this approach. 1. Test your conviction. Have you considered that planting an urban church may not be the right thing for you to do? Perhaps God would have you get involved in urban church ministry through pastoring an existing church. Or maybe planting in the rural or suburban community where you grew up is more fitting. Cities are trendy. It’s increasingly where the young, cool, and educated are flocking to flourish. But an unspoken side effect of the urban church-planting movement is the neglect of rural communities that need healthy, gospel-centered churches too. 2. Learn and embrace the history of your city. When I (Bill) first moved to D.C., we would jokingly say it was “the city no one was from.” That’s because the initial core drawn to our new church were part of the city’s swirling transient population, not its long-term rooted residents. There came a point when we realized the implications, and I publicly repented to our church and challenged us to reach all the people in our city. This meant we had a lot to learn, and needed to take a much humbler posture toward the history of this place. 3. Celebrate historic churches. There’s a common refrain among church planters that goes something like this: “There are only six churches that preach the gospel in D.C., but we’re going to see that change.” Not only is that statement false, it’s also denigrating to historic churches who have faithfully provided a vibrant gospel witness for generations. We meet in the building of one of D.C.’s oldest congregations, a historic African American church located on the same corner since 1838. We’ve embraced and celebrated that church’s rich history and faithful witness. Our congregations are different in many ways, but we desire to see our host church flourish and for the story of God’s work in that place to be told. 4. Invest in ministries that already exist. Most cities are home to other good ministries. When we deliberately find and partner with them, we acknowledge a few things: (1) We have something to learn; (2) God has been working in our city long before we started and will continue working long after we leave; (3) We are not the center or savior of our cities. 5. Be patient. Many long-term residents are rightly jaded toward transience. Church plants in gentrifying cities already face skepticism just by being something new. We can help overcome that skepticism through rooting ourselves long-term, serving our neighbors, devoting ourselves to good work, and celebrating the history and culture of the city. All of this takes time. It won’t happen overnight. But one effective way to be a disruptive witness in a transient city is to teach and model this kind of humble patience. Planting Humbly Urban church plants have an opportunity to step into rapidly changing communities and bring love, justice, and peace. The apostle Paul spent time in Athens, meeting people on their turf, talking to them, learning about what they thought and why they thought it. He was even able to quote their favorite poets back to them. We, too, have the responsibility to plant and pastor churches that are sensitive to the realities of all our neighbors, especially the most vulnerable. This is key if we are to truly do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly before our God as we plant churches for his renown. View the full article

      in Christian Current Events

    • Church Removes Pastor for Sign Declaring Homesexuality a Sin, Bruce Jenner a Man

      A Presbyterian pastor who posted a sign calling homosexuality a sin and Bruce Jenner a man has been forced out of his California church. View the full article

      in Christian Current Events

    • South Carolina Pastor Arrested for Strangling Pregnant Woman Outside His Church

      A South Carolina pastor was arrested last week after he reportedly strangled a woman pregnant with his child outside of his church. View the full article

      in Christian Current Events

    • Hindu Version of Feng Shui Leads to Demolition of Church Building in Southern India

      Hard-line Hindus on Jan. 9 tore down a church building in southern India because it was built on the west side of a village, which they said violated Hindu principles of placement and positioning, sources said. View the full article

      in Christian Current Events

    • Historians: Ananias, Sapphira Actually Slain For Bringing Package Of Donettes To Church In Lieu Of Real Donuts

      U.S.—Historians now believe Ananias and Sapphira were struck down for bringing a package of store-bought Donettes to contribute to a church service rather than real donuts. The post Historians: Ananias, Sapphira Actually Slain For Bringing Package Of Donettes To Church In Lieu Of Real Donuts appeared first on The Babylon Bee. View the original full article

      in Christian Satire

×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.