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Innerfire89

I'm not dead or in prison, but I should be.

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What would my life be without Christ? Where would I be now?

Well, I would be dead, in prison, or a complete burn out. I was an idiot when I was younger, the only thing I cared about was tripping out on drugs and video games. I would take whatever people would give me, I just didn't care, drugs were like candy. Eventually I broke in and vandalized a local bussieness and at sat in jail for a short time. While I was in jail all I did was read the Bible, but I still didn't smarten up yet. I went back to getting high until one day I noticed my heart was jumping around in cheast like crazy, after that I was scared to use drugs anymore. A few years later I pulled an all nighter, drank a whole pot of coffee and went to work, all of the sunden I felt dizzy and loud noises were startling me, and heart felt like it was gonna explode! I got to the ER and they gave me some nitro and Valium, they said it was probably a severe pain if attack and I did have painic attacks after that, but my heart would race even when I wasn't having panic attacks. The doctors put me on anti anxiety meds and beta blockers but it did no good. For about two years I thought I would just die in up and die of a heart attack, that fear became all I could think about, I even would avoid doing certain thing's because it seemed like that how I would die. I would have panic attacks when I went to the bathroom because I heard if you push to hard to go you'll take a heart attack. Eventually God set someone in my path that just changed what I thought with a few caring words. He was an EMT and all he said was "I could have died many times, I could have died on my way here, but I can't worry about it".

Those simple words meant so much to me. There was no point in living if I'm worried about dieing. I still had anxiety problems for a while, I would get so nervous around people that my arms would shake. I prayed that if God would take that fear away I would talk to people for His purpose, I found myself talking to people, giving them encouragement and advice even. So I was sitting there in my living room reading His word and the truth just grabbed hold of me, Christ showed me what life is all about and right then and there I let Christ be the master and saviour of my life, I DO NOT want it any other way.

 

Looking back I see it was God's grace that kept me from self destruction, and I see such a huge change in who I was and what Christ has done with me. My life is Christ and Christ is my life.

 

Thank the Lord for all that he has done, he is worthy to be prasied from now till all eternity!

 

Stay strong in Christ and be blessed everyone.

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