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About whysewserious

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  1. Thank you for supporting your statements with scriptural reference to back it up. I am in no way saying we should ignore a sin or dismiss it as acceptable just because culture and society have deemed an action otherwise. What I am saying is that the world we live in is a very broken place, full of extremely broken, hurting people (and often times, believers are among them). There is a time for being truthful and firm, and there is a time to be truthful, but with a delicate approach. Non-believers are not going to have the same moral standards as someone who is a believer. When you begin a new job with policies you have never had to follow, do you learn to adhere to them better by your employer screaming at you, leaving passive-aggressive post it notes on your desk about how a task you performed was incorrect, or being put down in front of your new coworkers? Or is it more effective to be pulled aside and gently corrected when a mistake is made? How long would it take before you were exhausted and did not want to be a part of this group anymore? If you heard of a company that followed the former example as a way to coach its workers, would you even want to work there? The aggressive, angry attitudes from people who claimed to follow a loving God, people who followed in a way that met their personal prerogative, were part of why I became disenchanted with church and faith to begin with. It took someone who loved me enough to be honest with me about some things, but not in a harsh way - that would have pushed me away further - to even get me to set foot in a church again.
  2. It seems like there is quite a lot of anger coming from this...cast the first stone, please. I have done no condemning of any kind, and certainly did not "warmly accept" an abortion. My words are being twisted and manipulated. We can speak rebuke to someone until we are exhausted from it, but if truth falls on deaf ears, what then? People are going to make choices outside of what is right, and after a certain point, there is nothing more to be done about it. Would you rather have me been hateful to a woman who was already hurting and missed an opportunity to talk to her about God because I was on some sort of self-righteous kick?
  3. Be patient. I am now an adult, and it took some doing before my dad came to accept me as a grown woman rather than the little girl he raised, and that he will always partially see me as. I also think there are some things that parents are probably uncomfortable talking with their children about, regardless of their age. I think a good way around this for me has been to ask for advice in areas where I know he has valuable insight - if you can get them talking, it will start to be easier. I also asked my mom a lot of easy to answer questions about her childhood - cliche things like what she wanted to be when she grew up. It was different than what she ended up actually doing, so that was yet another question. Really listen, these types of stories often lend themselves to more questions. When did your parents grow up? Mine did in the 60's and 70's so there were historical things we talked about (my mom lived in the rural south when desegregation was happening, so hearing how she did not understand why she could not play with the new kids in her school was very telling of her character). I do not know you or your family personally, so it is hard to gauge without that valuable piece of information. But people do love to pass on their knowledge, and that was definitely helpful for me in building a relationship with my parents.
  4. I can't tell if you are being confrontational or not because it is hard to tell via reading text what someone means behind a written statement. Why are you assuming that I have deemed certain sins as "ok/acceptable"?
  5. No, it is not hateful to disagree or point something out. I am a firm believer in it is not what yo say, but how you say it. Protesting with signs that say "God hates f**s" is hateful. I think when someone believes passionately in what they are doing, it has to be handled with diplomacy to tell them what you think about it. I had a friend who got pregnant many years ago and wanted to have an abortion. She wanted to know what I thought. I told her that I loved her, she was dear to me, and that abortion was NOT something I agreed with because that is already a human life. It was a delicate conversation with lots of tears, but she appreciated my honesty and that I didn't "hate on her" for wanting to do something I disagreed with. Something important to realize too - that friend did up having the abortion. She avoided me for a while because she thought I was going to be angry with her. We finally ran into each other and I could have shamed her for something that was already done, or I could CHOSE to treat her like a human being. My reaction to the situation actually made her open up to talking about God for the first time. She said she expected Christians to be spiteful when people do bad things, and my reaction to her - while I did not accept her actions as right - showed her a new side to faith she had never experienced before. So let me ask you, do you think people want to love a God that has followers that bellow hate?
  6. It really was an amazing experience. and I hate to admit that had my mom not been ill with a terminal disease, I may have never been as close to her as I was. I know this is a bit of a side bar, but I would encourage anyone who is in a broken relationship with family...patch it, if you can, BEFORE something drastic like that happens. Sometimes it takes a lot of swallowing pride (I know I had to); but some genuine "I'm sorry" moments are not as painful as living a life wondering "what if". Do it!
  7. Thank you for the recent questions and thoughts. I always appreciate when things are written respectfully. To both iterate and piggy back on the idea of why that particular verse is given so much weight, I have asked what Old Testament laws are still applicable today, if they aren't, when did they cease to be, and were they ever intended to be applied to non-Jewish believers? An answer I have shared formerly is that I have heard a theory that many of the laws written were to prevent health issues and disease. Tattoos at the time certainly would have opened the body to nasty infections, as would eating some of the forbidden animals or having hordes of sexual partners.
  8. My mom passed away almost seven years ago and my dad remarried to an amazing woman that I love and respect. Not any less than I did my own mother, but just in a different way. The thing they are more concerned with is who gets buried where on the physical earth. My mom wanted my Dad to remarry (we knew she was terminal) if he found someone. That was an act of love on her part. She knew she wasn't replacable. I don't think we will really hav those types of concerns in heaven, which is of huge comfort to me.
  9. Man, this is something I struggle with and I will be open about saying that. I wish I had stuck to my resolution to be steadfast about this, but I didn't wait. Once you have crossed that line it becomes infinitely me ore difficult to not fall back in to it. It's something I pray about a lot. I am not promiscuous by any means, but it does become difficult to not cross that line. I do know about quite a bit of what Paul says about sexuoal immorality and am working on both forgiving myself. Aside from the physical nature of it, sharing your body with another human like that can and does create emotional scars when it is something that isn't between just two people, for their lifetime. I hope no one judges me for that...I am hoping in sharing maybe someone struggling to avoid the same thing will find some motivation from it. I figure if we are going to make mistakes that the silver lining is we can help others avoid the same. I do cling to the New Testament story about the adulteress and Jesus instructing people who have not sinned to cast the first stone. And to elaborate, I hear a lot of mixed information about what is relevant to today from the OT based off of the "updates", if you will, from the New Testament
  10. I think you can absolutely show love and respect someone on a human level even if their lifestyle is something that you disagree with. I am starting to feel a bit like a broken record here, but being hateful and spiteful to a group of people convinces them of nothing except that maybe they don't want anything to do with a God whose followers are so hateful. I refuse to project an image of hate about a God that loves me so deeply in spite of all the foolishness I have partaken in in my lifetime.
  11. Thank you for mentioning something like the cotton blend shirt - there are lots of rules in Leviticus that most of us break on the daily but we don't really talk about. Tattoos are just an easier subject to "pick on" for people, I think, because I think that unfortunately many people get a kick off of judging others.
  12. I am not using this statement as a means to condone any behavior, but I have it on my to-do list to go through the scriptures searching for the word "abomination" to see what other activities are viewed as such. Again, not to condone or justify so much as to see what other activities might be in there that believers don't talk about as much. A quick google search turned this up from the book of Proverbs: 16 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: 17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, 19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. I am sure it is a safe assumption that no one here has shed innocent blood, but how many of us are guilty of lying, jumping into things we shouldn't without thinking twice (or even eagerly); or stirring up trouble? If these things are abominations, why are we not also questioning if liars should be allowed in church? Just some perspective.
  13. I think part of the reason for so many divorces is that people don't take the time to really marinate in their relationship before tying the knot. I agree with rz3300, I don't know how many divorces are "on a whim" and everyone I know that has gone through one says it was one of the worst experiences of their lives. I think it is wise to not judge, because we cannot possibly know their circumstances, but I would love to see the number of divorces decline.
  14. I have never felt a pull to get mine removed. To me, if someone is going to argue to not mark or scar the body on purpose, having a laser to the skin, which does burn and scar it, actually would be an act that further does the thing some believe we aren't supposed to do in the first place.
  15. Thank you for taking the time to have such an in-depth response...this brings a lot of comfort. I have never been married, as I have previously stated, but my boyfriend was in an abusive marriage for a few years and deals with a lot of guilt from having gone through a divorce. The church he was attending at the time shunned him completely to the point he left the church for a while, and that breaks my heart on a completely different level. He actually did try to fix it, both one on one and by going through counseling through the church, but it only ended up being used as fuel against him when things kept going south. . I will be sharing this with him when the time is appropriate, so I appreciate the insight more than I can say.
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