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John Calvin puts forward a very simple reason why love is the greatest gift: “Because faith and hope are our own: love is diffused among others.” In other words, faith and hope benefit the possessor, but love always benefits another. In John 13:34–35 Jesus says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Love always requires an “other” as an object; love cannot remain within itself, and that is part of what makes love the greatest gift.

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My2kids

Need prayer please

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My2kids

My ex-wife is getting married tomorrow to the man she left me for 3 years ago. And I'm having a rough time with it. I have forgiven both of them but it still feels strange to me. We where married for 15 years. I don't even know how to pray for them.  

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William
Staff

Sorry to hear this and lemme extend my empathy towards you as I have also gone through the same thing in the past. It isn't natural for us to bear witness of another man being with our "living" wife. All kinds of emotion can surface jealousy etc which is actually good. It is good for a man to be jealous for his wife. And lemme define jealousy which is for want of what is rightfully ours.  I could not deal with my wife marrying another man a few months after she divorced me. It is best that I never see or contact her again despite having children. This of course was made much easier now that my child has grown up. Only the worldly think, in my opinion, that I can sit at the same table with a covenant breaker living in adultery as though we are one giant happy family.

 

I realize you like me have children. And though I never bad mouthed my former spouse in front of the children I arranged picks ups and drop offs with no personal contact. I even warned my spouse about what "might" happen should her new adulterous husband ever become within arm's reach of me.

 

Forgiveness, I do have a forgiving spirit, but I have been robbed of not only closure but the act of forgiving. She has never approached me for forgiveness, never having admitted wrong doing, and I will not simply "forgive" which conveys an act of condoning her adultery due to lack of repentance.

 

Just sharing my thoughts and experiences. You're not alone. I thank God I don't have to see my ex or contact her for the rest of my days. By no means am I suggesting that I am an example to follow, but this is what has worked for me and kept me out of trouble.

 

God bless,

William

 

 

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Innerfire89

I guess you would pray for them the same way you would pray for any sinner.

I'm sorry your wife betrayed you, but good riddance. As for the guy she married, he'll get his when it's his turn to be betrayed, both of them were quite foolish in their decision making, she chose a guy who didn't respect the seriousness of the marriage contract, and he chose a woman with a history betrayal. That will turn out well.

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William
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12 minutes ago, Innerfire89 said:

I guess you would pray for them the same way you would pray for any sinner.

Good advice, pray she comes to repentance through a saving relationship with Jesus. Too many follow the Worldly worldview of no fault divorce, thinking they have done nothing wrong and need of no repentance.

 

God bless,

William

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My2kids

The man she is marrying divorced his wife to marry my ex-wife. He is a Roman Catholic, so the Roman Catholic church sent me a letter telling me they annulled my marriage. My ex-wife is a Christian but I guess she does not care. She told a short time after our divorce that she was praying that God would release her from her marriage vow to me and God said to her " what are you doing, you need him" but I guess that did not stop her.

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Innerfire89
1 hour ago, My2kids said:

The man she is marrying divorced his wife to marry my ex-wife. He is a Roman Catholic, so the Roman Catholic church sent me a letter telling me they annulled my marriage. My ex-wife is a Christian but I guess she does not care. She told a short time after our divorce that she was praying that God would release her from her marriage vow to me and God said to her " what are you doing, you need him" but I guess that did not stop her.

That's the absurd arrgance of Roman Catholicism, they had no authority to do any such thing.

 

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JoeyH
5 hours ago, My2kids said:

My ex-wife is getting married tomorrow to the man she left me for 3 years ago. And I'm having a rough time with it. I have forgiven both of them but it still feels strange to me. We where married for 15 years. I don't even know how to pray for them.  

Right now I think that you should be praying for God's peace and comfort. I get the impression that it has re-opened the grieving process for your lost relationship. I will pray this for you. 

 

You can pray for them later after you have progressed through this difficult time for you personally. 

 

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larry2

There was the supposedly true story of a man that hated another person in the church he attended so much, he would cross the street to avoid coming face to face with them. Let’s call him Larry.

The hatred grew worse to the point of wanting to quit attending the assembly, and he finally talked to the pastor about it. The pastor told him that he knew how to fix it, but that he knew the man asking wouldn’t do it.

Oh yes I will pastor, I will do anything to get rid of this hate. No you wouldn’t - Yes I will. Okay I want you to go home tonight and pray for Larry for God to bless him before you go to sleep, and then first thing in the morning you do the same every day, and continue that for two weeks.

I will not do that  ! I knew you wouldn’t  . Well I promised I would, and I will  . (avatar faces inserted for effect, and I don’t know if I’m telling it right).

That night: God please bless Larry; ….. …..God You know I don’t mean that, I hate that guy, and he goes to bed mad. The next morning was more of the same, but as the days went by the hardness in him began to soften, the prayers became longer, and the hurt he felt became less.

By the end of the two weeks, he again went to his pastor with a smile on his face and said, you were right pastor, I want Larry blessed more than anyone I know, and the hate is gone.

I liked the story, because it helped me to understand some of what Jesus prayed for us, even though we didn’t deserve it either.
Praying for you & blessings in Christ Jesus.  

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William
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On 5/4/2018 at 3:56 PM, Innerfire89 said:

That's the absurd arrgance of Roman Catholicism, they had no authority to do any such thing.

 

It's just unbelievable. Unrepentant sinners that are deserving of excommunication for sexual immorality are instead "legalized" by the Catholic church.

 

God bless,

William

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lilstarsmum

I’m so sorry to hear that, friend. This is a hard thing to go through after 15 years of marriage. I just said a prayer for you, asking the Lord to surround you with His healing presence and provide the comfort, strength, and the help you need at this time. Are you seeing a counselor/therapist? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? I know it’s not easy right now, but I urge you to stay strong. Sending prayers your way.

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