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John Calvin puts forward a very simple reason why love is the greatest gift: “Because faith and hope are our own: love is diffused among others.” In other words, faith and hope benefit the possessor, but love always benefits another. In John 13:34–35 Jesus says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Love always requires an “other” as an object; love cannot remain within itself, and that is part of what makes love the greatest gift.
Innerfire89

Expel the immoral brother.

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Scripture teaches that when a person is sexualy immoral we are to exclude them from the congregaion.

 

Does anyone have any advice on how to go about doing this? How about if the person is a family member?

 

I'll just cut to the chase, my uncle just got fired from his job at a college, supposibly for letting a student into a dorm room they were locked out of, yet his boss wouldn't let his supervisor know why he was fired. Today he let it slip when talking to one of his buddies that he was fired for innaporiate conduct with a student.

He has a history of innaporiate behavior with young boys. Im pretty sure he is still a homosexual and that's what got him fired.

 

I love him, he's family, but I'm not going to let my church look like a joke to spare his feelings. And I don't want to be hanging around him, I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me, and I'm tired of his behaviour, which I'm surprised hasn't got him in much worse problems.

 

I plan on having a serious talk with him soon.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Scripture teaches that when a person is sexualy immoral we are to exclude them from the congregaion.

 

Does anyone have any advice on how to go about doing this? How about if the person is a family member?

 

I'll just cut to the chase, my uncle just got fired from his job at a college, supposibly for letting a student into a dorm room they were locked out of, yet his boss wouldn't let his supervisor know why he was fired. Today he let it slip when talking to one of his buddies that he was fired for innaporiate conduct with a student.

He has a history of innaporiate behavior with young boys. Im pretty sure he is still a homosexual and that's what got him fired.

 

I love him, he's family, but I'm not going to let my church look like a joke to spare his feelings. And I don't want to be hanging around him, I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me, and I'm tired of his behaviour, which I'm surprised hasn't got him in much worse problems.

 

I plan on having a serious talk with him soon.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

I'm assuming your uncle is an actual active member of the Presbyterian church and not an attendee.

 

I believe the admonitions of the church are not to expel a member but rather bring them to repentance. Without proofing my reply, from memory, I'd recommend approaching your uncle with a witness. Confront him about his sin, and do not do it without a witness. You may want to seek a church elder first, and have them approach your uncle with you as the witness. If this fails, within the Presbyterian church there is a process. If your uncle refuses to repent a "trial" will be convened. I believe he also has the right to representation during such process. Just remember, this will be highly embarrassing should he not repent and the process escalate. It will be brought out in front of the entire congregation.

 

Here is the Orthodox Presbyterian Church's Book of Discipline. Do not take my word for it but seek it yourself: https://www.opc.org/BCO/BD.html

 

God bless,

William

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Scripture teaches that when a person is sexualy immoral we are to exclude them from the congregaion.

 

Does anyone have any advice on how to go about doing this? How about if the person is a family member?

 

I'll just cut to the chase, my uncle just got fired from his job at a college, supposibly for letting a student into a dorm room they were locked out of, yet his boss wouldn't let his supervisor know why he was fired. Today he let it slip when talking to one of his buddies that he was fired for innaporiate conduct with a student.

He has a history of innaporiate behavior with young boys. Im pretty sure he is still a homosexual and that's what got him fired.

 

I love him, he's family, but I'm not going to let my church look like a joke to spare his feelings. And I don't want to be hanging around him, I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me, and I'm tired of his behaviour, which I'm surprised hasn't got him in much worse problems.

 

I plan on having a serious talk with him soon.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

I'm assuming your uncle is an actual active member of the Presbyterian church and not an attendee.

 

I believe the admonitions of the church are not to expel a member but rather bring them to repentance. Without proofing my reply, from memory, I'd recommend approaching your uncle with a witness. Confront him about his sin, and do not do it without a witness. You may want to seek a church elder first, and have them approach your uncle with you as the witness. If this fails, within the Presbyterian church there is a process. If your uncle refuses to repent a "trial" will be convened. I believe he also has the right to representation during such process. Just remember, this will be highly embarrassing should he not repent and the process escalate. It will be brought out in front of the entire congregation.

 

Here is the Orthodox Presbyterian Church's Book of Discipline. Do not take my word for it but seek it yourself: https://www.opc.org/BCO/BD.html

 

God bless,

William

He's not a member, so I could just be making a bigger deal out of it than I need to.

 

His behavior is really putting me between a rock and a hard place. I'm might be out of a way to get to church because I'm barrowing his car.

Not to mention the few times I though we were both going to be beaten by a group of guys because of him acting stupid in public.

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Innerfire89. Matthew 18 gives us specific instructions on how we deal with a brother or sister, in hopes of repentance and restoration. I encourage that you and the pastor pray very seriously before these steps start.

 

I just prayer for you in this matter. God be with and bless you.

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Scripture teaches that when a person is sexualy immoral we are to exclude them from the congregaion.

 

Does anyone have any advice on how to go about doing this? How about if the person is a family member?

 

I'll just cut to the chase, my uncle just got fired from his job at a college, supposibly for letting a student into a dorm room they were locked out of, yet his boss wouldn't let his supervisor know why he was fired. Today he let it slip when talking to one of his buddies that he was fired for innaporiate conduct with a student.

He has a history of innaporiate behavior with young boys. Im pretty sure he is still a homosexual and that's what got him fired.

 

I love him, he's family, but I'm not going to let my church look like a joke to spare his feelings. And I don't want to be hanging around him, I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me, and I'm tired of his behaviour, which I'm surprised hasn't got him in much worse problems.

 

I plan on having a serious talk with him soon.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

I'm assuming your uncle is an actual active member of the Presbyterian church and not an attendee.

 

I believe the admonitions of the church are not to expel a member but rather bring them to repentance. Without proofing my reply, from memory, I'd recommend approaching your uncle with a witness. Confront him about his sin, and do not do it without a witness. You may want to seek a church elder first, and have them approach your uncle with you as the witness. If this fails, within the Presbyterian church there is a process. If your uncle refuses to repent a "trial" will be convened. I believe he also has the right to representation during such process. Just remember, this will be highly embarrassing should he not repent and the process escalate. It will be brought out in front of the entire congregation.

 

Here is the Orthodox Presbyterian Church's Book of Discipline. Do not take my word for it but seek it yourself: https://www.opc.org/BCO/BD.html

 

God bless,

William

The Bible says the first step is to confront privately without any witnesses. Only when this is rejected are we to call on a witness to help us.

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If he isn't part of the church we shouldn't expect him to behave as a Christian - Paul is very clear in 1 Cor 5 that the things he writing about are for church members, and we are not to be judging (in the sense of discipline) those outside of the church.

 

Whilst bad behaviors of any sort cannot be condoned by the church at the same time it is not our task to police everyone int he world - you sit down and talk to him - and it might be helpful for the pastor to meat with him. if there is any criminal action then you must support the authorities in that - beyond that pray for him and witness to him!

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I think you are looking at this from the wrong angle. It is not you rejecting him, it is he rejecting you. I am sure that he knows your stance on things and if he is conducting himself in the manner that you assume then he has made his choice and you are simply trying to hang on to an memory that no longer exists.

 

The rock and the hard place is not a place at all. It is an attempt by a good person to justify the activity of someone you have no control over in a manner that is palatable and the Holly Spirit is attempting to guide you in the direction the Lord wishes you to go.

 

This may just be more distressing than you think, because if he was fired for having sex with a student, then that student may very well have been underage and that makes him, not only a homosexual, but a child molester as well. If that is the case then you owe it to your family and to the community to out this man as he may have already molested other boys, as well. Make no mistake. Pedophiles are everywhere and in every walk of life. Do not, under any circumstances think that it could not happen in your family or anyone else's

 

I will pray for you and your uncle.

Edited by just_me
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On 4/9/2018 at 10:08 AM, Innerfire89 said:

Scripture teaches that when a person is sexualy immoral we are to exclude them from the congregaion.

 

Does anyone have any advice on how to go about doing this? How about if the person is a family member?

 

I'll just cut to the chase, my uncle just got fired from his job at a college, supposibly for letting a student into a dorm room they were locked out of, yet his boss wouldn't let his supervisor know why he was fired. Today he let it slip when talking to one of his buddies that he was fired for innaporiate conduct with a student.

He has a history of innaporiate behavior with young boys. Im pretty sure he is still a homosexual and that's what got him fired.

 

I love him, he's family, but I'm not going to let my church look like a joke to spare his feelings. And I don't want to be hanging around him, I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me, and I'm tired of his behaviour, which I'm surprised hasn't got him in much worse problems.

 

I plan on having a serious talk with him soon.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

An older post I see. Hope it was resolved satisfactorily.

And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer. Matthew 18:15-17

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On 4/10/2018 at 11:18 AM, reformed baptist said:

If he isn't part of the church we shouldn't expect him to behave as a Christian - Paul is very clear in 1 Cor 5 that the things he writing about are for church members, and we are not to be judging (in the sense of discipline) those outside of the church.

Of course, this begs the question, what is the purpose of the church, particularly the church service? The assumption, in my view, should be that the people coming to church are believers and that is who the service is for. That being said, you cannot, again, in my opinion, let someone living in open sin continue to sit in the pews without confrontation.

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