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2002

The New Pastoral Candidate.

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2002

Our Baptist church was in a beautiful new building, but the members were a bit sparse, and money was becoming a problem.

Then our pastor had to leave us in order for he and his family to relocate to another location in another state. A new candidate

came to preach a trial sermon, and here is what happened.

 

Mr. R started by telling us about himself, how his father had been a very successful pastor in another part of the country,

and how he and his first wife had divorced, and how he had remarried his second wife who was there with him today. Baptists

were very strict about such things, like a pastor divorcing their wife, and I thought to myself that the members would never

approve him, but I sat and listened to the rest of his sermon.

 

He told how he had come to be hired by a very important corporation, at a very good job. His mother was disappointed that he had not

gone into church work, like his late father had done, but it was what he wanted to do. Every day after work, he stopped into a nearby

bar where he would have a drink or two to celebrate the end of the day. One day, he came in there, and prepared to place his order,

when someone whispered into his ear a short message, and guided his elbow to stand him, and then guide him towards the door.

The message was "This place is not for you." He looked over to see who was guiding him towards that door, and who had whispered to him,

but there was no one there, no one at all. He kept going out that door, and he told us that he never went back there again.

 

After that he began classes to prepare a person to become a pastor, a Baptist one. His wife thought that was a stupid joke, and

she did not want to be married to any pastor, so they agreed on a divorce. He found a fine new wife who loved being a pastor's

wife. Under the circumstances we could understand somewhat why he needed a different wife, and we all unanimously approved

him to be our new pastor, and he became the man, under the Lord who brought our church to bloom again in the Lord.

 

He stayed for years, and in the minds of many of us was the best pastor we ever had. He today rests in the Lord, waiting

for that wonderful new day. Praise God.

 

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deade

My questions would be: When was he baptized? Was he a believer when he asked the Lord to consecrate his first marriage? If he did not become a believer until after his first marriage, I could see why he could nullify it (the marriage). It might not be any of my business, but if I asked God to consecrate a marriage: I would not do it again while my wife still lived. I have been married twice, but I did not believe when I did the vows in the first marriage. I felt only my second marriage was sanctified.

 

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Edited by deade
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2002

My impression was that he was not a believer until he had his bar experience. He made a great pastor, I know that.

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Just Mike

Even if that divorce took place before he was a Christian, a divorced pastor will always have to deal with peoples judgment. If that man was a Christian than he had no Biblical divorce. The Bible is very clear that sexual infidelity is the reason for divorce, other than that you can live apart. Too many divorced christian have made very sinful choices in divorce and remarrying. That sin is dealt with in 1 John 1:9 repentance, confession.

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2002

Personally, my wife and I were probably too financially poor to divorce when we were young.

That we always stayed together .... I thank the wonderful Lord.

 

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Just Mike

2002 Our pastor just preached yesterday on Matthew 5:27-31 There he told us of the facts of men who watched and were addicted to porn 60% and then he said "that is just the pastors". Then he want on to the Christian men. On Saturday he called me that he wanted me and my wife to pray for him with this sermon.

 

Here is what I told him. My wife has every password for every site I go on, I aske her to look at my posts to make sure I am accountable to her. If I am watching TV or YouTube she can tell me that is not good for me to watch and I change it right then.

 

A man as we all can agree with, can look at a woman fully clothed and with a blanket over her head and its possible for some men to lust over her. Lust starts in our thoughts.

 

Looking with lust or looking is adultery in our hearts and that is where it always starts. I think as a pastor, every divorce I saw was because of adultery. A good number of wives will not forgive adultery. So I say its better to be held to a higher standard before God and my wife.

 

So 2002 be glad you were broke back then. Most all marriage problems can be resolved if both people are willing to be broken before the Lord and seek His will for our marriage. God bless you 2002

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Sue D.

When I first read the thread title , I thought, That sounds interesting.

 

And then I read the post and thought 'oh, no'.

 

But then I remembered back some years ago that my 'then' pastor shared out in the parking lot -- his background. He and his present wife of 24 yrs. had his 2 kids and her two kids. He'd been married and he and his 1st wife had two kids together. Then he either got right with the Lord or got saved and felt led to the ministry. His wife wanted nothing to do with a ministry of Any kind. So she divorced him and left him with their two small children. She assumed that That would ruin any plans he had for the ministry.

 

Well -- after a time, he met a woman with two kids who'd divorced her husband because of abuse. They had a lot in common and she had no problem with being a pastors' wife. She's been a real people person with a beautiful voice and a real asset.

 

So they got married. He started applying to Bible colleges / seminaries. No one would accept a divorced man. But his 'life' was preaching at any nursing home or any group who'd have him. But he was getting frustrated with all the negative responses, but he decided to try One More seminary. They decided to interview everyone involved with his divorce as to the why's and wherefore's -- including his ex-wife. He never wanted the divorce -- he Did want his wife to agree with him / come to the Lord, herself. But she wouldn't.

 

So -- the end result was that the seminary Did approve him as a student.

 

Since then, his one and only church as been very small, family-oriented. The church had called him -- but it was dying out -- about to close it's doors -- and he challenged them to Start giving to missions. They did and gradually 'revived'.

 

He was a good preacher -- a love for people -- as far as I know, he and his wife are still there. I left because I needed a growing church -- pastor was satisfied with a small congregation.

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2002

Nice write, Sue D.

He sounds much like our Pastor R.

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islandrazor

Mr. R started by telling us about himself, how his father had been a very successful pastor in another part of the country,

and how he and his first wife had divorced, and how he had remarried his second wife who was there with him today. Baptists

were very strict about such things, like a pastor divorcing their wife, and I thought to myself that the members would never

approve him, but I sat and listened to the rest of his sermon.

 

Repentance: a change of mind, as it appears to one who repents, of a purpose he has formed or of something he has done Strong’s Definitions [?](Strong’s Definitions Legend) μετάνοια metánoia, met-an'-oy-ah; from G3340; (subjectively) compunction (for guilt, including reformation); by implication, reversal (of (another's) decision):—repentance.

 

How can we be forgiven and continue in adultery when repentance means to change your mind about your sinful act, to turn away from, to reverse your decision?

 

I’m divorced and would love to have a mate. These and many other scriptures however don’t give me that option.

 

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

 

Mark 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12: And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

 

Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

 

John 8:4-- They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

 

5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

 

6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

 

7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

 

8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

 

9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

 

10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

 

11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

 

Christ’s final words on this subject in this instance were; “Go , and sin no more” I find it easy to understand the command, “Sin no more”,

 

Jer 5:7 How shall I pardon thee for this? thy children have forsaken me, and sworn by them that are no gods: when I had fed them to the full, they then committed adultery, and assembled themselves by troops in the harlots' houses.

 

I believe the law of marriage to be the second rule/law in scripture prior to Mosiac law. Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. ( Meriam Webster. Law: a binding custom or practice of a community : a rule of conduct or action prescribed or formally recognized as binding or enforced by a controlling authority.) The first being Genesis 2:17, But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

 

This law was there in the beginning, Christ reiterates it. Paul affirms it. Romans 7:2-3, For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

 

No we cannot be justified by the acts of scriptural laws. We can’t fulfill it perfectly, it was our schoolmaster. There was no sin before there was a law made against sin. Here we see that the law is holy, “Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good”. Romans 7:12

 

Mat 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

 

Not being under the law for redemption does not excuse us to continue in adultery, Romans 6:1 “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?” God Forbid

 

In Christ

 

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Just Mike

islandrazor; If your wife has not remarried then work for reconciliation, that's Biblical. If she has remarried then you are free to marry again but only to a Christian wife. I always say there if hope as long as she is not remarried. I have seen hope when there was positively not an ounce of hope, but God stepped in and healing took place. Sometimes the hardness of heart begins with us. Do something for her that she would never expect, flowere, a card. I suggest getting the book LOVE DARE I honestly think if a man does every step with prayer and the Lords help your marriage stands a good chance of restoration.

 

If you have done something that caused the brake up first confess this to Jesus, repent, and confess it to your wife, show humility and seek forgiveness. If you have children make sure you are supporting them, this is what God wants. I do not know your circimstances so I listed several options. But I would start with earnestly praying to Jesus asking for His direction. God bless you.

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Sue D.
Mr. R started by telling us about himself, how his father had been a very successful pastor in another part of the country,

and how he and his first wife had divorced, and how he had remarried his second wife who was there with him today. Baptists

were very strict about such things, like a pastor divorcing their wife, and I thought to myself that the members would never

approve him, but I sat and listened to the rest of his sermon.

 

Repentance: a change of mind, as it appears to one who repents, of a purpose he has formed or of something he has done Strong’s Definitions [?](Strong’s Definitions Legend) μετάνοια metánoia, met-an'-oy-ah; from G3340; (subjectively) compunction (for guilt, including reformation); by implication, reversal (of (another's) decision):—repentance.

 

How can we be forgiven and continue in adultery when repentance means to change your mind about your sinful act, to turn away from, to reverse your decision?

 

I’m divorced and would love to have a mate. These and many other scriptures however don’t give me that option.

 

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

 

Mark 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12: And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

 

Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

 

John 8:4-- They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

 

5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

 

6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

 

7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

 

8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

 

9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

 

10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

 

11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

 

Christ’s final words on this subject in this instance were; “Go , and sin no more” I find it easy to understand the command, “Sin no more”,

 

Jer 5:7 How shall I pardon thee for this? thy children have forsaken me, and sworn by them that are no gods: when I had fed them to the full, they then committed adultery, and assembled themselves by troops in the harlots' houses.

 

I believe the law of marriage to be the second rule/law in scripture prior to Mosiac law. Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. ( Meriam Webster. Law: a binding custom or practice of a community : a rule of conduct or action prescribed or formally recognized as binding or enforced by a controlling authority.) The first being Genesis 2:17, But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

 

This law was there in the beginning, Christ reiterates it. Paul affirms it. Romans 7:2-3, For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

 

No we cannot be justified by the acts of scriptural laws. We can’t fulfill it perfectly, it was our schoolmaster. There was no sin before there was a law made against sin. Here we see that the law is holy, “Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good”. Romans 7:12

 

Mat 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

 

Not being under the law for redemption does not excuse us to continue in adultery, Romans 6:1 “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?” God Forbid

 

In Christ

The only reason that Baptists are very strict about pastor's and divorcing and remarrying is because of the qualifications stated in 1 Timothy 3: 1-7 -- "....blameless, the husband of one wife, ......one who rules his own family well...." It would seem that since he was already a successful pastor and then decided to divorce his wife -- something was 'rotten in Denmark' so to speak. He Should have stepped down from his pastorate to work on the relationship with his wife. If there was Still a divorce, 'stuff happens' in life. But to then get married the 2nd time and remain in a pastorate -- No. That is giving the 'okay' for others in the congregation to do the same. There would possibly be another church with leadership in a lesser capacity // Awana leader, for instance.

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Sue D.
islandrazor; If your wife has not remarried then work for reconciliation, that's Biblical. If she has remarried then you are free to marry again but only to a Christian wife. I always say there if hope as long as she is not remarried. I have seen hope when there was positively not an ounce of hope, but God stepped in and healing took place. Sometimes the hardness of heart begins with us. Do something for her that she would never expect, flowere, a card. I suggest getting the book LOVE DARE I honestly think if a man does every step with prayer and the Lords help your marriage stands a good chance of restoration.

 

If you have done something that caused the brake up first confess this to Jesus, repent, and confess it to your wife, show humility and seek forgiveness. If you have children make sure you are supporting them, this is what God wants. I do not know your circimstances so I listed several options. But I would start with earnestly praying to Jesus asking for His direction. God bless you.

That is even questionable. There's this thing in the marriage vows "until death do you part". If the couple are both non-Christians when they marry, and then one becomes a believer -- the non-believing spouse might not want to stay with the believing one. The non-believer is free to leave. The believing spouse is not to make him/ her stay. Then the believing spouse Would be free to remarry. IF the believing spouse Does re-marry to another believer and something happens to That marriage // divorce -- Scripturally, neither are free to remarry. Although lots of believers Do divorce and then remarry. It's very common. If people loose a partner in death, then, of course they're free to remarry // lots of blended families.

 

I got the impression that 'islandrazor' was divorced. That 'something' destroyed his marriage. Sounded like his wife divorced him. If they are separated, but not divorced, then, yes, he Could work towards reconciling.

 

Years ago -- my counselor was married and then was divorced -- once he got over the shock of the divorce and was able to move away -- he began working on relationships with his older kids and his ex-wife. They were finally on fairly good terms again, but remarriage wasn't going to happen. They lived in different parts of the country and had their own lives to live. One of his goals in counseling was to help couples Stay Together.

 

Believers should work on good relationships with others. Recently I did something stupid and got someone angry with me. I realized that I needed to straighten out the situation -- apologized -- I realized that I was the cause of his anger. So he was gracious to forgive.

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islandrazor
islandrazor; If your wife has not remarried then work for reconciliation, that's Biblical. If she has remarried then you are free to marry again but only to a Christian wife. I always say there if hope as long as she is not remarried. I have seen hope when there was positively not an ounce of hope, but God stepped in and healing took place. Sometimes the hardness of heart begins with us. Do something for her that she would never expect, flowere, a card. I suggest getting the book LOVE DARE I honestly think if a man does every step with prayer and the Lords help your marriage stands a good chance of restoration.

 

If you have done something that caused the brake up first confess this to Jesus, repent, and confess it to your wife, show humility and seek forgiveness. If you have children make sure you are supporting them, this is what God wants. I do not know your circimstances so I listed several options. But I would start with earnestly praying to Jesus asking for His direction. God bless you.

Thanks justme,

You are correct about reconciliation being scriptural but….

Prov 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house

Prov 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Prov 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

 

She is my sister in Christ and I pray for her good health both physically and spiritually. I wish her well, however I’d just as soon, well… God bless her.

No reconciliation here, we get along fine at a distance. Saw her just yesterday in fact. Seems to be doing well.

 

We do not agree on divorce and remarriage my brother as I thought I made clear above. An agreement on the definition of repentance seems to evade us.

I’ve met many who seem to be in the habit of saying, “Oh, I’m sorry” for small intrusions or mishaps. Sometimes I’ve had to correct them by softly informing them that the politeness of the statement doesn’t excuse nor seem to alter the repeated behavior. Feeling sorry for some slight is merely the initial response, repentance is the goal.

Feelings need to motivate us to change. We see here that Esau felt sorry he lost his birthright, but he would have, given the same circumstances, done it again.

Hebrews 12:17 For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

 

2 Cor 7:10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.

Neither tears nor words alone will ameliorate sin, Action is required.

In todays english, repent: 1 : to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life

2 a : to feel regret or contrition

b : to change one's mind

How can we be forgiven and continue in adultery when repentance means to change your mind about your sinful act, to turn away from, to reverse your decision?

 

I read remarriage as adultery. It is a certainty though, that God hasn’t asked for my opinion on that day.

 

Don’t take any of this my friend as an assault on you. You seem to have a heart for God.

 

In Christ

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islandrazor
Personally, my wife and I were probably too financially poor to divorce when we were young.

That we always stayed together .... I thank the wonderful Lord.

In everything give thanks. Now there was a good laugh.

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