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JLiberty

Advice on biblical accountability when it comes to conviction to move family away.

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I joined this forum in hopes of getting advice from other believers. My wife and I have four children, ages ranging from 9 to 1.

 

The problem? We live in San Diego. State income taxes are absurd, freedoms and liberties are stripped almost daily, and my tax dollars fund abortions and other programs that are not wise. The The cost of living is very, very high. The public school system has completely become a LGBTQ and progressive indoctrination center. There are uncertainties that my children will be able to get established when they're old enough to be on their own, due to the ability for them to afford their own home. Overall, I believe it is very easy to discern that it is unwise to raise a family in CA.

 

Here are my current details. I own a business that is moderately successful. As expensive as it is here, we are able to own our own home. As bad as the school's are, we are able to home school/partner with a charter school on a three day/ two day per week schedule (three days home school). The charter school is public, but they are not (as of now) teaching that which is unbiblical.

 

So, my complaints about CA have to do with finances, investment, horrible business climate, and overtaxation issues. However, I am not directly affected or kept from a decent lifestyle because of them.

Also, my complaints about CA school system have to do with completely despicable things being taught, not to mention very low teaching standards. However, my children are not, and thus I am not directly affected and their purity is still preserved.

 

My family is connected to an amazing, biblical church that is one I would always want to stay connected to. Our family's are also here, and my wife's family, in particular is very very close to us.

 

Now, despite all this I am compelled to sell my home and business, and move to a more business and family friendly environment. I know there are good, Godly churches available for the most part wherever we'd move. There are other logical justifications to move as well, some of which I listed above.

 

My question to this forum is this: Do I seem to be worrying, and allowing a desire to be in control dictate my compelling to move? Are my compelling's biblical? Do I have an obvious blind spot that I'm dealing with?

 

Any and all advice is desired, as I know it is best for me to seek wisdom in this.

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Brother JLiberty; I too was faced with the close to many of your concerns, but that was in 1983. I was raised in Lancaster, California, I loved it when I grew up. In 1964 I joined the Navy and I got stationed at Crows Landing Naval Air station about 25 miles west of Modesto. My wife and I stayed in Modesto, there we had two babies who went to school there. We moved back to Palmdale to be near our parents. Now we had three children. The schools were very poor, as you might be aware taxes were high them I worked at Edwards AFB for JPL. It was there in a wonderful church I surrendered to Christ to go into Ministry. The time was right to look for a Bible College. Gods leading was to Grand Canyon University, in Arizona.

 

We saw a huge difference in taxes when Ronald Reagan became governor. He raised the state sales taxes by 2% and he raised property taxes so high, that after he left we has prop 9 to reduce property taxes. Why people thought he was a good governer at the time I do not understand, but he sure was a mile stone better that the evil government you have now.,

 

we used to visit my parents that lived in Camberia and while driving we drove by the different houses we owned. Each and everyone is now in a gang controlled neighborhood. These were really nice houses, and we loved being there. The migration of illegal's has destroyed so much of the state. The last time we drove into LA we had a driver come up beside us and point a gun at us. All this is so sad that a state i once loved has turned out to be hell on earth.

 

After graduating from Grand Canyon University, we went to Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Kansas City, Mo. After graduating from central baptist Seminary I pastored four churches in four states, we retired in Missouri. Missouri is a wonderful state. Our son own a large heating and air conditioning company and he loves it here. Taxes are low, people are very friendly. This state has four seasons, is so wonderfully green, air is where you can't see it, water is good. Prices for houses is so very reasonable. You can get a nice home for half what you would pay in California.

 

So consider all your options, pray, and by all means consider Missouri. God bless.

 

 

justme

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Thank you for your response, as well Brother Justme. I hadn't spoke much as to where I'd like to move, if we did. Missouri is beautiful, I hear, along with the traits you just mentioned. I have a very close friend and customer who owns a cattle ranch in Mansfield, and have up until very recently owned a home here in San Diego County. Every time I talk to them, they encourage me to come visit (knowing I wouldn't want to leave). The primary place I've looked into is Texas, because I lived there once - for a short while, one year. This was approx 13 years ago now. Texas has been on my radar mostly because of the very pro-business climate, and at 34 I hope to have many good working years ahead of me. However, Missouri is very intriguing and I am beginning to look into it more. May I ask you though, if you have any discernment from how my description of the desire to move was written, would I be best to stay close to other family members here, or do I take into account as priority the list of things that affect my family more directly?

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Brother JLiberty; My wife and I had to first of pray for gods direction. We had peace in moving to Arizona knowing it was the first step in learning to be in ministry for Christ. We left California with knowing God was leading. By faith we moved. At forst we moved into a small travel trailer. It was so wonderful, not what we expected, but it was what God wanted us to learn how for all of us to get along. Wow it was so hard with three kids and in a 20 foot travel trailer. We saved a mans life there. We met a pastor there that became such and encouragement, he and his wife became our best friends for 20 years until his passing. My how that dear man and his wife prayed for us, we learned as much about ministry from hin in practical terns as seminary ever taught.

 

After four months we moved into Phoenix. There we found a church that became a real support and a launching place for us to ministry. God has been with us all the way, even when we made mistakes. He has corrected us, blessed us beyond our expectations.

 

So I would make very sure your wife is completely on board, that the two of you have prayed together about what ever you do. remember "happy wife, happy life" is so very true. If you have Christian parents talk with them about what you are considering, after all they will be effected by your move too. As your church to ray for you to know Gods direct will.

 

I would suggest you go visit the places you feel peace to look into. Spend time asking businesses about the growth potential, how hard it is to start up one, or start one. Of course taxes on a business are very important. Perhaps some communities offer tax incentives for you to go into their state, city. Be wise, God will direct you, but you have the feet to act on gods leading. Acting on faith is not always easy as satan will try to side track you. Especially if the end results will mean Glory to Jesus Christ, Satan will always be a hindrance in all we do.

 

So dear brother go forth and serve your King, no matter what you do. God bless.

 

 

justme

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My question to this forum is this: Do I seem to be worrying, and allowing a desire to be in control dictate my compelling to move? Are my compelling's biblical? Do I have an obvious blind spot that I'm dealing with?

 

I currently live in California and can't wait until I move. The taxes, housing median, and politics are over the top. I have found a conservative area outside of California that I wish to move to. My wife and I are on the same page or in agreement. Though her family is located here in California, we won't be more than a day's drive away.

 

May I ask you though, if you have any discernment from how my description of the desire to move was written, would I be best to stay close to other family members here, or do I take into account as priority the list of things that affect my family more directly?

 

Two verses come to mind.

 

First verse, Matthew 19: ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

 

I have no reservations about moving away from family to begin a new life with my wife.

 

Second verse, 1 Timothy 5:8: But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

 

I think keeping your relatives in mind is Scriptural. However, there seemingly is emphasis given to your immediate household.

 

Regarding Scriptural conviction, Matthew 10:35-38, For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

 

God first, His blood covenant takes precedence over our blood relations. Your covenant with your wife is a covenant under God. There should be no question that Godly convictions can lead to distancing ourselves or worse yet enmity within family.

 

God bless,

William

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My Catholic mother lives within an hours drive from us here, and my wife's parents live less than ten minutes away. They're incredibly close. The conversation has opened between us and them about the possibility of affording to live here at retirement. My wife also has two sisters who are very close to us, as are their husbands and children. Ideally, if it were totally up to me (dangerous saying, I know), I'd love to go first, and provide a path for the family exodus that would inevitably meet us there.

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God first, His blood covenant takes precedence over our blood relations. Your covenant with your wife is a covenant under God. There should be no question that our convictions can lead to distance or worse yet enmity within family.

 

William, thank you for these verses supporting a Biblical stance! This one, I want to make sure I interpret it correctly. Are you saying that the covenant with my wife is a covenant under God, but my moving can lead to distance or enmity within my family?

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Are you saying that the covenant with my wife is a covenant under God, but my moving can lead to distance or enmity within my family?

 

Yes, your covenant with your wife is under God to Glorify Him.

 

And no, I am not saying moving away is the cause of enmity as conveyed in Matthew 10, but that following Godly convictions can cause enmity within a household consisting of unbelievers and believers. In Matthew an allusion is made to a universal command in Genesis which goes out to all mankind. The Scriptures encourage leaving our childhood family in order cleave to our spouse. I can think of many reasons as to why that is beneficial. Matter of fact, In-laws are one of if not THE top reason given for divorce.

 

The main issue I see living with immediate family is the role of spiritual leader. You are the head of your household, and usually that can be a major point of contention between others in the family that are older etc. Not to mention, many people have close relationships with their mother or father, but to emphasize your role as spiritual leader, it is your headship your spouse should be under and not her parents. Which will they consider? Especially if unbelievers look towards encouragement in their ways from other unbelievers in the family which may undermine your spiritual headship.

 

God bless,

William

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@William, I can see that enmity may be caused by numerous things, and the stress, if you will, of moving and separating family certainly can be one of them and must be acknowledged. However, I see, the immediate family unit is the priority. My wife and I are on the same page, and biblically grounded in who is given the role of spiritual leader, and I am praying fervently for wisdom in this. Can I ask your thoughts as to living in CA vs living in TX (or other states) as it pertains to Christian Stewardship?

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@William, I can see that enmity may be caused by numerous things, and the stress, if you will, of moving and separating family certainly can be one of them and must be acknowledged. However, I see, the immediate family unit is the priority. My wife and I are on the same page, and biblically grounded in who is given the role of spiritual leader, and I am praying fervently for wisdom in this. Can I ask your thoughts as to living in CA vs living in TX (or other states) as it pertains to Christian Stewardship?

 

G'day JLiberty,

 

Personally, I'd rather live in Texas above all other places. I looked up the most desirable places to live in the United States and came across a gem. Nampa Idaho which has low tax rates and a housing median of around $110,00.00. Being outside of Boise work should not be an issue. I realize that many people are looking at Idaho at the moment because of conservative benefits. Caution though if you decide to peek at the state of Idaho, I notice it turns more and more liberal the more north one settles. Hopefully, the people moving to Idaho will not bring their liberal politics to such areas as Nampa with them and drive the area down by high taxation and cost of living.

 

If you have children I would find it unbearable to bring them up in the California school systems. Not to mention good churches are very few and between.

 

In my personal situation I am disabled and my wife works. We are forced to rent here in California and will never be able to afford buying a house. The median here is over $480,000.00. And with that a ridiculously small house with only enough property to contain the walls. It kills me having to pay taxes which is distributed to pay for things I most passionately oppose, and towards an education system which is contrary to my Christian worldview.

 

I was stationed in Texas for nearly a year when in the Airforce and loved it. Conservatives believe in smaller government, and lower taxation. Not to mention, the Conservative party is almost always Christian friendly if not flat out encouraging the Christian worldview in the education system. I'd check the area that you're considering to be sure it isn't an area of liberal exception.

 

Hands down, I'd move away from California to Texas in a heartbeat. But I am considering my wife's family and settling for Idaho's distance. I believe a full day's drive is far enough where a lot of our personal family issues will be resolved which encourages independent living on all party's part within the family.

 

Not everything is rosy in Texas. I remember not long ago there was a Lesbian politician, maybe Mayor, of a city that was targeting churches. She wanted all churches to turn in their sermons on homosexuality: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2014/...r-sermons.html

 

What good is it to move from California only to be subjected to the same oppressive ideology? Just a friendly encouragement to do your research before moving.

 

Wish you and yours the best in your endeavors.

 

God bless,

William

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Not everything is rosy in Texas. I remember not long ago there was a Lesbian politician, maybe Mayor, of a city that was targeting churches. She wanted all churches to turn in their sermons on homosexuality: City of Houston demands pastors turn over sermons | Fox News

 

Houston, in fact, is where I lived but only for a year when I was 21. At the time, politics weren't all that big of a deal to me but now they are. It's the cities that are trending a bit more towards the progressive side, but the state as a whole is very conservative.

 

It kills me having to pay taxes which is distributed to pay for things I most passionately oppose, and towards an education system which is contrary to my Christian worldview.

 

You're not alone. I've owned an auto service center for 13 years here, and am happy to sell it all and walk away. My wife and I aren't wealthy by CA standards but we get by just fine and have no debt besides our mortgage. I'm comfortable selling our home and business, where we could buy a home for cash in TX and have no general monthly mortgage debt aside from taxes. By principle alone though, paying taxes to TX is far more palatable than paying towards taxpayer funded abortion and LGBTQ etc etc education systems.

 

I feel though it is easy enough for believers to be on the same page though, when it comes to these things. My wife, though, leans towards wanting to be a light here, and have the benefit of living close to family as these issues don't negatively affect us "here and now." I want to lovingly and respectfully engage in this conversation as it pertains to accountability before God, and knowing the inherent blessing that is available through this obedience.

 

Tell me though, am I potentially living in sin by staying here and thus being complicit with CA tax funding, etc? In that same vein, might all Christians, who have the opportunity to leave but don't, be living in this type of sin?

 

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William and JLiberty; $4800 for a house it unthinkable! The payment would be so high, how can people afford that? here in Missouri you van buy a 3,00 sq. ft. house for under $200,000. I live within 1,500 feet of lake of the Ozarks, we have a boat landing, and almost 4 acres of virgin land. Lots of cedar trees, oak, maple, and other's. We have lost of wild life, deer eat within 15 feet of our house, turkey are abundant, geese, dove, are a hunters dream. I do not hunt. We like the peace and quiet. Our nearest town is 20 miles away. We built our house by our self, as I used to be a carpenter and my wife is hands on. We are blessed. I say our house is a work in progress, as we have added and changed it over the last 22 years. Two of our four girls has lived with us here. Our grandchildren come often an just come out to play, target practice, or relax. We built our 2,oo sq. ft house for under half of the going price.

 

If a person has prayed and earnestly asked for Gods direction, we all know he will answer, We looked for a place to retire after my serious health issues, I never thought I would improve, but God provided a wonderful doctor that got my heart back to normal after several years. That too was all in Gods perfect timing. We prayed, waited, and God answered. I hope this helps encourage you.

 

 

justme

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William and JLiberty; $4800 for a house it unthinkable! The payment would be so high, how can people afford that? here in Missouri you van buy a 3,00 sq. ft. house for under $200,000. I live within 1,500 feet of lake of the Ozarks, we have a boat landing, and almost 4 acres of virgin land. Lots of cedar trees, oak, maple, and other's. We have lost of wild life, deer eat within 15 feet of our house, turkey are abundant, geese, dove, are a hunters dream. I do not hunt. We like the peace and quiet. Our nearest town is 20 miles away. We built our house by our self, as I used to be a carpenter and my wife is hands on. We are blessed. I say our house is a work in progress, as we have added and changed it over the last 22 years. Two of our four girls has lived with us here. Our grandchildren come often an just come out to play, target practice, or relax. We built our 2,oo sq. ft house for under half of the going price.

 

If a person has prayed and earnestly asked for Gods direction, we all know he will answer, We looked for a place to retire after my serious health issues, I never thought I would improve, but God provided a wonderful doctor that got my heart back to normal after several years. That too was all in Gods perfect timing. We prayed, waited, and God answered. I hope this helps encourage you.

 

 

justme

 

I know the military adjust for the cost of living in California. For example, to receive certain military benefits one has to be in poverty. That means making under 30 thousand a year elsewhere outside of California. In California someone can make up to 60 thousand a year and they still qualify for the same benefits which are limited to poverty. The cost of living is that much different from the rest of the nation.

 

God bless,

William

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William and JLiberty; $4800 for a house it unthinkable! The payment would be so high, how can people afford that?

 

It takes working 50 hours per week, and I'm fortunate to own my own business. BTW, the house we purchased at this price is also in an iffy neighborhood, that's decorated with graffiti, and police/ambulance sirens sing us to sleep nightly. It's sad that my kids have to see and experience this on a daily basis. However, Christ brings me back, saying that we are not of this world. We are to be in the world for a little while longer in order to share the good news with others... hard to know sometimes when the right time is to make that move.

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If I could interject some thoughts -- the OP caught my attention. My husband and I grew up in Central Iowa -- my husband had been in the AF and stationed at Abilene -- going out on lots of TDY's during that time. We ended up moving away from family very early in our marriage -- college, seminary , a church and then other employment in Missouri and now in south Texas for 35 yrs. or so. We're near Austin.

 

My husband comes from a large family all of whom have stayed in Iowa -- mine was much smaller and ended up all over the place.

 

It sounds like you are in a good situation with family close and a good situation with your kids education. There are probably as many negatives as there are positives in your situation. A good sound church and close family relationships would be wonderful -- a solid foundation for when the troubles in life Do come.

 

Presently, I don't think there's any where near an 'ideal' place to live. Any place you would decide to relocate to there would be other problems to find solutions to or having to simply accept as part of your new life and location.

 

However, if you truly feel the need To relocate -- for the sake Of your wife and kids -- then 'so be it'. In this country we already have portions that are on fire and burning out of control -- we have areas that are suffering from flooding -- Houston being one of them -- the East coast has experienced flooding -- and there is rebuilding or starting over again for Lots of families all over this country. And then there's the problems with homosexuality and illegal people and none of it's going to go away. It will only get Worse.

 

As believers we are to be a 'light' in a darkening world. So - what part of a darkening world are you and your family going to be a 'light' in.

 

As a person presently living in south Texas I'd be moving up north in a heart beat.

 

We're both in our late 60's - we've seen a lot of life.

 

As long as you and your wife are on the same page. Consider the emotional consequences Of moving away from family -- the kids and grandparents , cousins, etc.

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So many of you wishing you could live elsewhere, I feel for you all. Perhaps the thing we enjoy most is our privacy, and safety in where we live. If we hear a siren its a real serious situation, as seldom do we have the quiet broken except by the county grader on the road or someone going up our hill. Your stories makes me see just how blessed we truly are. Thanks for sharing all of your living situations. God has blessed up and I needed to be reminded of just how much, once again. I can once again see how the Lord really has put us where we belong.

 

Our church is about 25 miles away and we love the ride as we see so much wild life sometimes. The ride allows us to prepare our self and calm down,. Sometimes the traffic is a lot going the opposite way and we are reminded that those living in the city have a lot of stress to deal with just is driving home. God has ben so wonderful to us, beyond our expectations.

 

 

justme

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So many of you wishing you could live elsewhere, I feel for you all. Perhaps the thing we enjoy most is our privacy, and safety in where we live. If we hear a siren its a real serious situation, as seldom do we have the quiet broken except by the county grader on the road or someone going up our hill. Your stories makes me see just how blessed we truly are. Thanks for sharing all of your living situations. God has blessed up and I needed to be reminded of just how much, once again. I can once again see how the Lord really has put us where we belong.

 

Our church is about 25 miles away and we love the ride as we see so much wild life sometimes. The ride allows us to prepare our self and calm down,. Sometimes the traffic is a lot going the opposite way and we are reminded that those living in the city have a lot of stress to deal with just is driving home. God has ben so wonderful to us, beyond our expectations.

 

 

justme

 

It does sound like a great place to be living. You might end up with some neighbors :RpS_wink:

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Thank you all for your heartfelt answers! I don't see it as unbiblical to move, and the more I communicate with others wiser than I, the more it seems clear. However, it's emotional. Please pray for wisdom for me :)

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Thank you all for your heartfelt answers! I don't see it as unbiblical to move, and the more I communicate with others wiser than I, the more it seems clear. However, it's emotional. Please pray for wisdom for me :)

 

You sound like a man that really wants the Lord Jesus Christ will for you life and that of the wife his has bless you with and your children and families you both love. That is so wonderful. I can tell that you are a true man of God. You need no ones direction as you and your wife are wise in the Lord.

 

Recently, like two days ago my wife and were faced with a big change to make. We did not want to make a choice just on our own. We asked to either open the door or shut it altogether. We would have been pleased with the door we thought was open to us. God closed that door, but opened a door with so much more than we had ever expected. Finding Gods will is so good, but asking in faith for His will takes faith, and faith is sort of risky to our thinking, but we have never been let down. (now that is a run on sentence if ever I saw one) God Bless.

 

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You sound like a man that really wants the Lord Jesus Christ will for you life and that of the wife his has bless you with and your children and families you both love. That is so wonderful. I can tell that you are a true man of God. You need no ones direction as you and your wife are wise in the Lord.

 

Recently, like two days ago my wife and were faced with a big change to make. We did not want to make a choice just on our own. We asked to either open the door or shut it altogether. We would have been pleased with the door we thought was open to us. God closed that door, but opened a door with so much more than we had ever expected. Finding Gods will is so good, but asking in faith for His will takes faith, and faith is sort of risky to our thinking, but we have never been let down. (now that is a run on sentence if ever I saw one) God Bless.

 

Your words bring me so much peace. I am sometimes troubled more than the Lord would desire by this state, and I seek other believers to point out "blind spots" I have that may seem obvious as I describe it. I am praying that the Lord open or shut the door for us, and that he give me the wisdom to see it if and when he does either. I firmly believe the Word is sufficient, but it doesn't exactly say where we should live in life, which makes this a tad more difficult. I do, oh Lord, seek your will as I am charged to lead my family in wisdom and selflessness.

 

It's so amazing to see when God closes a door, which one he leaves open for you. He is the amazing provider, who will exchange the good for the great for your good and his glory! I find that the more he fulfills His promises, the more faith it develops in us.

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JL liberty; If there is any peace whatsoever in anything I write, It is only the Holy Spirit speaking to your heart, I personally have so little to do with the peace you feel. Give Jesus Christ the Glory.

 

 

 

Justme

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