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John Calvin puts forward a very simple reason why love is the greatest gift: “Because faith and hope are our own: love is diffused among others.” In other words, faith and hope benefit the possessor, but love always benefits another. In John 13:34–35 Jesus says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Love always requires an “other” as an object; love cannot remain within itself, and that is part of what makes love the greatest gift.
Jane123

New Relationship

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I recently started dating a guy who seemed perfect and too good for me. We have been spending every day together getting to know one another for about a week. He is new to town so we have a lot we don’t know about one another but he seems to be very open and honest about everything. We were making plans to go to a movie over text and he asked if I wanted to come over to his place after (for the first time) and he said he wouldn’t make an sexual advances. I was really happy he clarified this and it gave me the impression that he was being upfront on the fact that we would not be having sex together while dating. He then asked over text what my thoughts on sex in a relationship are and said if I was too uncomfortable we could drop it. I told him that I thought sex was great in a marriage. To which he replied “sweet, do you have any questions for me?” I said the same one he asked me. He then said he thought sex was important in a relationship however if one wants to wait that the other should respect that and hope that they get married and he would do that if I actually wanted it. My interpretation was that he was okay with premarital sex. It totally freaked me out because I believe sex is for marriage and so far he seemed to be a great christian guy. I actually started crying and didn’t text it for a bit. I wrote back to him saying that we have different beliefs and that we are not a match for each other but I wish him the best. He then realized that I was wanting to break up with him and he tried calling me twice but I ignored his calls. After I made my stance clear he says it was all a misunderstanding and that he believes the same as me and that he was just testing the waters because he didn’t want me to dump him if he said he didn’t want to have premarital sex. He says he won’t bring it up again and is trying to move on like it never happened but I can’t move on without this settled. So I cancelled our plans and he says I’m over reacting. I’ve l gone over the wording in his texts a lot and my first impression still sticks with me though I wonder if I jumped the gun and am ruining things with what I thought could be someone I could spend the rest of my life with.

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 Relationships are complicated. I am not an expert nor I am even close to one but I will give you what I think.

 

Ask him what he thinks God's standards are concerning sex and marriage. He should at least be able to find a few/several passages and then listen for his explanation.

 

 Always go back to the Bible as the standard. Not only in these areas, but in all others as well.

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You are a wise woman @Jane123. He gave his view to you clearly you saw it.. then he has the nerve to push blame to you saying you are over reacting.. Stay wise sister 

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It sounds like he's just putting on the good guy charm and then saying whatever he thinks you want to hear.

 

I've been around people who do something similar to what he was trying to do with talking about sex. They look for something in the conversation use later to try to get you to gave in.

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On ‎11‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 10:10 AM, Jane123 said:

I recently started dating a guy who seemed perfect and too good for me. We have been spending every day together getting to know one another for about a week. He is new to town so we have a lot we don’t know about one another but he seems to be very open and honest about everything. We were making plans to go to a movie over text and he asked if I wanted to come over to his place after (for the first time) and he said he wouldn’t make an sexual advances. I was really happy he clarified this and it gave me the impression that he was being upfront on the fact that we would not be having sex together while dating. He then asked over text what my thoughts on sex in a relationship are and said if I was too uncomfortable we could drop it. I told him that I thought sex was great in a marriage. To which he replied “sweet, do you have any questions for me?” I said the same one he asked me. He then said he thought sex was important in a relationship however if one wants to wait that the other should respect that and hope that they get married and he would do that if I actually wanted it. My interpretation was that he was okay with premarital sex. It totally freaked me out because I believe sex is for marriage and so far he seemed to be a great christian guy. I actually started crying and didn’t text it for a bit. I wrote back to him saying that we have different beliefs and that we are not a match for each other but I wish him the best. He then realized that I was wanting to break up with him and he tried calling me twice but I ignored his calls. After I made my stance clear he says it was all a misunderstanding and that he believes the same as me and that he was just testing the waters because he didn’t want me to dump him if he said he didn’t want to have premarital sex. He says he won’t bring it up again and is trying to move on like it never happened but I can’t move on without this settled. So I cancelled our plans and he says I’m over reacting. I’ve l gone over the wording in his texts a lot and my first impression still sticks with me though I wonder if I jumped the gun and am ruining things with what I thought could be someone I could spend the rest of my life with.

If God didn't put it all together it's worst than a rotten egg . You made the right decision in breaking off this relationship. Any trouble experienced now is a indication of what awaits you further down the road . I'd start looking elsewhere for someone who puts God first . Prayer is the only option for anything having to do with a relationship .

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Believe in yourself. Trust in your intuition and understanding. You made the right decision. This guy is oh so not being real. Don't let him con you with his twisted words. You sound like a pretty real person. Don't accept a man who's less than real. He said he was only testing you? Bull hackey. He was testing to see what he could get away with (with you). Run from this guy. I'm telling you girl, he's no good. Know the tree by the fruit. Be strong in the Lord my sister. Hugs.

 

 

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When I was dating many decades ago, the first question I asked was about the faith in Jesus Christ. It was useless for me to go out if that was not the number one on our list together.

 

My wife and I talked on the phone many times before we want on a date. The first topic was Jesus Christ.

 

Our first date was roller skating, the second date was a Christian speaker we want to hear.

 

How you start a relationship determines all the rest of the steps.

 

My opinion this guy is a player and saying just what he thinks you want to hear. He is not husband maternal. Learn to seek Godly men. You don't go to Good will looking for a mink coat. You don't find Godly men in a bar. Go where real men of Gods heart are....church!

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