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John Calvin puts forward a very simple reason why love is the greatest gift: “Because faith and hope are our own: love is diffused among others.” In other words, faith and hope benefit the possessor, but love always benefits another. In John 13:34–35 Jesus says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Love always requires an “other” as an object; love cannot remain within itself, and that is part of what makes love the greatest gift.
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Jeff Wiltsey

Military Sexual Trauma

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I joined the Army in 2004, ready to take on my duty to serve my country in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. I was proud to be a part of something bigger than me. That pride was stolen from me. My first duty station after graduating my basic training was in Schweinfurt, Germany. My first week in this unit I was raped by my roommate's best friend. It was a humiliating experience that I cannot go into detail of the hazing that ensued afterwards. I was a 19 year old kid in a foreign country with no support system except the Unit I was in. After the rape, I could not process what happened and did something I should not have done. I chose to desperately pretend that it did not happen. I didn't want it to be true. My roommate seeing that I was desperately trying to repress and pretend it didn't happen began to tell everyone in my unit that I did it willingly. I repressed and isolated myself from any possibility that it would be brought up to me. Everyone in my unit thought I was gay, and talked about me behind my back. They made sexual slurs, hazing me daily. Even the leadership found out but only heard that I had willingly done this thing. It was "don't as, don't tell", so no leadership was going to discuss it. I carried these scars for my entire life since then. This moment has defined me, every moment was a fight for survival. I was in a mental mess. When I deployed to war, I did not have any support. I didn't trust anyone. I was alone. I could go into more detail, but for short, I am 33 now and finally at a point where I can not deny the emotional and mental mess I am in. I thought for years I could manage my feelings on my own, always afraid that someone would find out my dark secret. I was embarrassed. I left the military early this year, and had a complete breakdown. PTSD is real, and I have not been able to hold down a job due to my condition. I cannot breathe when I am around large groups of people. I cannot look anyone in the eyes because I feel ashamed. I am working through this finally with my VA therapist. I am waiting for my disability claim to be processed by the VA but is taking a very long time. I need to work through this mess before I can be a strong benefit to my community. Any help while I am in this situation would really be a blessing. God bless you all.  

 

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I am very, very sorry for what happened to you. I am an Army "brat" and also served form 68-73, I have a high regard for the military but what happened to you is not acceptable under any circumstances and I am also very glad that you are bringing this to the Light. I was converted in 1983 (35 yo) and was very fortunate to receive in-depth ministry from experienced elders patterned on the teachings of John and Paula Sandford ("Transformation of the Inner Man") -- basically it is the application of the Healing Power of the Holy Spirit to the deepest of inner trauma and permitting the Holy Spirit to "transform" and heal the deepest of inner wounds. This ministry grew in the mid '80's and '90's and became established as the Elijah House Ministry in Couer d'Alene, Idaho. Here is a link -- https://elijahhouse.org/

 

Modern approaches to trauma are not without some efficacy, but when the Power of God is brought into the deep hurts of the heart quite literally miraculous inner restoration and healing occurs. I look forward to reading a post from you sometime in the future filled with Joy and Freedom. I do pray that your footsteps will be guided to a ministering senior who will be empowered to help.

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