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John Calvin puts forward a very simple reason why love is the greatest gift: “Because faith and hope are our own: love is diffused among others.” In other words, faith and hope benefit the possessor, but love always benefits another. In John 13:34–35 Jesus says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Love always requires an “other” as an object; love cannot remain within itself, and that is part of what makes love the greatest gift.
findingbackWA

Bringing him closer to God

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Hi.

I am so glad I found this forum. I am 37 and divorced 4 years, older children.  While I was making the decision of divorcing my ex husband I changed my entire understanding to God. 4 years fast forward. I met an amazing man (49) and we were friends at first. In our first conversations we had all sorts of topics. Faith was one of it obviously.   After 5ish months our path changed a bit and we became closer. He fell in love with me and eventually I followed.

He knows i put God first. Before him, before my children, before anything.  I am trying to figure out if its OK to let go the wall in my heart and ''love'' him.  He tells me he loves me and that he believes that God has a plan for us. He also ays he will have patience and that everything is worth it. He talks about future and simply explore life together. Also he travels to see me FR-SU in a hotel since he lives 7hrs away and respects not to just be at my house at this early stage.

I am not sure how to read Gods message. I pray and realize that the only thing thats holding me up is the question how I can bring him closer to God. For him to involve God more often (so far its always me).

I know he is willing to.

However I dont want to be pushy.

Any advice?

I was thinking to do the LOVE DARE book with him but we aren't married nor engaged?

Or maybe something similar where he doesnt necessarily ''knows'' whats going on.

 

 

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Quote

 Also he travels to see me FR-SU in a hotel since he lives 7hrs away and respects not to just be at my house at this early stage.

Not sure how to read the above quote. "Sleeping' with him is fornication . 

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Great . and thank you for replying to such a personal question.  I suggest continue the example of Christian values . I have been married for 54 years to a non believer . Please do not do that to your self .

IF you have a church home invite him. 

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Joh 6:44  No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day. 

 

You may well be the agent God uses to expose your friend to the Gospel.  
 

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I don't think you can secretly bring another person closer to God.

 

I would also like to bring to attention that it sounds like he's all good when you're having fun, but when it gets to serious matters such as Christian maturity it's not so well.

 

What does he mean by he belives that God has a plan for you both. That sounds like he's thinking with his emotions and then just attributing those feelings to God. 

 

 

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Changing your thinking about God, does that mean you are really now obeying Him and becoming a Follower? Twelve years might seem like much of a difference, but it can be, and is well worth your while to give this some serious thought. Is he a Christian as well? Is he divorced as well?

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On ‎8‎/‎26‎/‎2018 at 10:39 AM, findingbackWA said:

Hi.

I am so glad I found this forum. I am 37 and divorced 4 years, older children.  While I was making the decision of divorcing my ex husband I changed my entire understanding to God. 4 years fast forward. I met an amazing man (49) and we were friends at first. In our first conversations we had all sorts of topics. Faith was one of it obviously.   After 5ish months our path changed a bit and we became closer. He fell in love with me and eventually I followed.

He knows i put God first. Before him, before my children, before anything.  I am trying to figure out if its OK to let go the wall in my heart and ''love'' him.  He tells me he loves me and that he believes that God has a plan for us. He also ays he will have patience and that everything is worth it. He talks about future and simply explore life together. Also he travels to see me FR-SU in a hotel since he lives 7hrs away and respects not to just be at my house at this early stage.

I am not sure how to read Gods message. I pray and realize that the only thing thats holding me up is the question how I can bring him closer to God. For him to involve God more often (so far its always me).

I know he is willing to.

However I dont want to be pushy.

Any advice?

I was thinking to do the LOVE DARE book with him but we aren't married nor engaged?

Or maybe something similar where he doesnt necessarily ''knows'' whats going on.

 

 

" Loving him " has two very important considerations that are only God can answer for you . The first is do you love this person out of an emotional experience that you brought upon yourself ,or did the Holy Spirit convict you in your heart and spirit that this person would be a lifetime addition to your life ? Secondly is even more important if not the most important step you will ever take towards a Christian marriage. And that is , Does this person actually KNOW the Lord or have you arrived at that decision by assumption ? Is he convinced,,,,or is he .....convicted ! There are many marriages that end in tragedy by ignoring what Paul tells us in 2nd.Cor.6:14-18 . NOT to be Unequally yoked together ! You would do well to read and re-read these passages because they represent a life of either pain ,suffering and misery compared to a home filled with the fruits of the spirit which are love, joy, peace, longsuffering , kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control , Gal.5:22-24 .  M

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On 8/28/2018 at 5:54 AM, Matthew Duvall said:

" Loving him " has two very important considerations that are only God can answer for you . The first is do you love this person out of an emotional experience that you brought upon yourself ,or did the Holy Spirit convict you in your heart and spirit that this person would be a lifetime addition to your life ? Secondly is even more important if not the most important step you will ever take towards a Christian marriage. And that is , Does this person actually KNOW the Lord or have you arrived at that decision by assumption ? Is he convinced,,,,or is he .....convicted ! There are many marriages that end in tragedy by ignoring what Paul tells us in 2nd.Cor.6:14-18 . NOT to be Unequally yoked together ! You would do well to read and re-read these passages because they represent a life of either pain ,suffering and misery compared to a home filled with the fruits of the spirit which are love, joy, peace, longsuffering , kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control , Gal.5:22-24 .  M

This is where i get confused. I pray and ask. I know I should NOT look for signs. I know God will lead my way.

I just find it so hard right now to understand.

I think I am ready to love him. It is not just emotional.

He is not even my type but his heart is . There isn't a day he doesnt make me smile or even laugh. I would be his 3rd woman. He had a teenage relationship but she left when he got diagnosed with diabetic type A. Then he was once married 10 years to a woman who cheated on him while he was deployed. Its 3 years. He's wonderful to me. So much patience. Understanding.

He told me non of his ex's were believers.

I asked why he was with them. His answer was he thought it was the right thing to do.

I wonder if God gives to sinners that were married to the wrong person another chance to find the man/woman that were meant to me.

How do I know we are yoked?

I thought I understood until now I am confronted and i dont ever want to live without Christ.

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On ‎8‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 12:21 AM, findingbackWA said:

This is where i get confused. I pray and ask. I know I should NOT look for signs. I know God will lead my way.

I just find it so hard right now to understand.

I think I am ready to love him. It is not just emotional.

He is not even my type but his heart is . There isn't a day he doesnt make me smile or even laugh. I would be his 3rd woman. He had a teenage relationship but she left when he got diagnosed with diabetic type A. Then he was once married 10 years to a woman who cheated on him while he was deployed. Its 3 years. He's wonderful to me. So much patience. Understanding.

He told me non of his ex's were believers.

I asked why he was with them. His answer was he thought it was the right thing to do.

I wonder if God gives to sinners that were married to the wrong person another chance to find the man/woman that were meant to me.

How do I know we are yoked?

I thought I understood until now I am confronted and i dont ever want to live without Christ.

From what I am reading it is clear that this person would not be a lifetime partner bound by marriage . He does not meet all of the Godly requirements  of a perfected Christian that would benefit your life . Time to end it before you make a terrible mistake and regretfully loose many of your young years with someone who entered your life as an infatuation  and not one where Christ is involved . The entire matter of being yoked together rest with the Holy Spirit. And that is incumbent on whether you are both truly saved . In that way you can rest assured that God is involved and your prayers aren't being ignored by Him. You need others to pray for you . Beginning with salvation and then having God do the rest .Otherwise the matter becomes null and void . I will be praying for you . M

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